Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
it glows. i had to have it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
