Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
it glows. i had to have it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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