Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i believe in u and ur pee
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
