Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
