I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
