Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
