Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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