Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
either way he was missing a nipple.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
