You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
