He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dick very happy bro
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