did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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