Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
