Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
