Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I am full of burrito and curiosity
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
