the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
