she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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