it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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