I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
