My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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