So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
