how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
