I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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