she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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