That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
