i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
