I have demons in me.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
