she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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