yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize