Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
ttyl tear gas
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
