can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
