Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
