Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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