hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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