I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Randomize
