Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
