hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Please don't give away my fajitas
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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