omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize