Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
