jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize