brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
