It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
did i walk over a car last night?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm really busy with my period
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