I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
