I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
