ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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