i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
