Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
this must be what syphilis tastes like
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
