Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
