Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
