i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
