I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i will never coherently bang her
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize