and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
