you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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