I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
