If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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