She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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