i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
