If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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