at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
