yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
