I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
