so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
