yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize