i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
