I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
