what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
