I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
