he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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